It feels a little ridiculous watching this while the Chilean miners are getting rescued. ABC seems to think the same thing as they waste no time naming the first contestants to be saved.
The top three scorers: Brandy, Audrina Patridge and Jennifer Grey are deemed safe first.
This is followed up by celebrity audience members discussing the show. "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's" Carson Kressly says of the circular stage: "No one sweated on me, which is why I wanna come back because I felt a little gipped." He added that he thought Kurt Warner would soon be "off like a prom dress."
Model Adrianne Curry stood by as her hubby, Christopher Knight, said he liked Carol Brady's rumba.
"She showed us the other half of Florence," he says.
Len and the judges choose to see Jennifer and Derek's awesome Argentine tango again. They switch up the routine a bit, swapping in some more killer moves instead of the cute piano tapping bit. They get a well-deserved standing ovation.
And now it's back to 1998. The Goo Goo Dolls, who apparently hold the radio record for most top 10 singles, are on hand to perform. Of course, they perform their biggest hit, "Iris" -- trivia, it was written in 1998 for the "City of Angels" soundtrack. I bet they hate this song now. John Rzeznick looks like he's had a little work done. Or a lot.
Kyle Massey was seven years old when "Iris" hit it big. He cracks Lacey up by yelling "Team Shmirtles" when Brooke Burke interviews them. Lacey wonders aloud why Kyle kissed her on the shoulder on Monday.
"I think it's called improv," Kyle says.
"I think it's called hormones," she fires back.
Nearby, Mark is not-so-surreptitiously stroking Bristol's arm. Ignoring the cute guy literally on her arm, Bristol says she thinks the judges were harsh on Monday. At least she is aware of the hypocrisy in her dance routines.
"I'm talking about abstience then I come out here in my underwear and I'm dancing to a song about sex," she says. "Hopefully I can pull it off."
Maybe you should leave it on, love.
"You looked hot in that dress," Mark says. "You should keep that. Wear that one in Alaska."
Ew, a topless Len Goodman is riffing off his Mark Ballas slight from last night ("You don't see me taking my shirt of and exposing myself"). I'm going to throw up.
Turns out Mr. Improv, Kyle, is safe but Bristol and Mark are in jeopardy. Kurt and Anna are also pronounced in jeopardy after Rick and Cheryl get the OK.
In a cutesy interstitial, Len Goodman shows the audience how one gets points on the show. Apparently to get four points you just have to show up, move your feet and get through the routine. He uses Billy Ray Cyrus as an example, but The Situation would do just as well.
Non-Henderson Florence (minus the Machine) follows this up with a moving acoustic performance of "Dog Days Are Over" and her voice is unbelievable (trying to ignore "Eat, Pray, Love" association). The dancing actually fits well with the eeriness of her whole persona.
Fittingly, Florence and Corky are announced to be safe next, followed by Kurt and Anna. That leaves Sitch and Bristol.
Before the loser is announced, The Situation kind of performs a staged walk off during a post-performance interview. He says he's pissed the judges didn't see the progress or the work he put in.
"You know I'm, like, done with this," he says before high tailing it out of the interview room. Karina is like, "Whatever."
As he waits for his scores, Sitch flexes his man boobs up and down over and over in the hopes of scoring some last minute points. Tom Bergeron quips that Bruno just gave him a 10.
The reality star shakes his head as he and Bristol wait for the kick off. When his name is finally announced, he kind of does a reverse fist pump. Being the nice guy that he is, though, Tom reveals he's a "Jersey Shore" fan and that Sitch appears different on "DWTS."
"'Jersey Shore' is a key hole of who I am," he says, adding that he showed his real self on "Dancing."
Why don't I believe you?
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